Loaner Cellphone/Housefly Crisis

I work for a small-sized company, about 250 employees. For one of my projects, I was required to have a cellphone with me so that I could be contacted at anytime. I preferred to use my own cellphone and just expense any overage minutes I incurred due to work, but no, that was not an option. They insisted I use their "loaner phone." Aaarrrggghhh! What a nightmare!! Who knows whose bad breath, spit, mucus, sputum, filthy hands, possible fecal material (you never know who doesn't wash their hands after using the bathroom) or GERMS were on it? I was quite upset to have to expose myself to this level of potential bacteria.

I was given the filthy thing in a bag, which was good -- less I'd have to handle the germ-infested thing. I brought it home and got out the Lysol cleaner in the spray bottle and a roll of paper towels. I sprayed and wiped, sprayed and wiped, until the black stopped appearing on the paper towels. I looked at the pile of used paper on the counter and skeeved. UGH! I threw them out -- in the big green can in the garage, no sense in having other peoples' airborne germs in my kitchen -- and even though I'm very careful to close the door immediately upon exiting or entering the house from the garage (I saw a lizard in the garage a few years ago and am terrified I'll let him in the house by accident if I'm not careful) somehow let a fly in! This was getting worse and worse.

It was on the kitchen window defecating on my white plantation blinds (I read that every time a fly lands, it either pukes or defecates). I used to kill flies as a child with my mother's Aqua-Net hairspray and watch their wings get hard before they succombed. Then as I got older, I typically used Windex. There was no need for actual bug killer, we rarely had any bugs. I have no Aqua-Net and did not have the Windex out, but I did have the Lysol -- still handy, still on the counter -- so I grabbed it and sprayed the window where the ugly beast was relieving himself. It dropped. Taking advantage of the opportunity, I tore off another sheet of paper towel (Viva only) and cleaned the window, the blinds, the windowsill, it was great. I was not sure if the fly would require another blast to put it out of its misery, but I was amazed -- it was stone cold dead.

Two with one blow! The phone was clean and disinfected, and one less filthy creature could contaminate someone else's house, picnic or barbeque.

It was a magical day.

Cleaning the microwave

The best way I've found to clean the microwave is also pretty cost effective. I put half a cup of water with a pinch of baking soda and bring it to a boil. Then let it sit for about 30 seconds before opening the door and quickly wiping down the ceiling, walls, bottom and finally the inside of the door. It's cleaned, deodorized, and has no chemical odor. For the outside of the door, wipe it down with a soft cloth with dishwashing soap and water wrung out of it. The handle is a different story, wipe that with a wet paper towel with a little soap and a dab of Clorox. That will disinfect the handle from possible raw meat, etc. that might have been on your hand as you opened or closed the appliance. Now you can nuke to your heart's content in a clean vessel!

Steamer

Up at 4 a.m., unable to sleep, I went out into the living room to watch TV on Saturday morning. Nothing was on, so I opted to watch the infomercial for a Monster Steam Cleaner. For $66.00 and some change plus S&H, I could have this steamer that gets rid of 99% of germs and bacteria. Well, I was intrigued as I watched the paid announcer (thank goodness it was not Billy Mayes or I would have had no choice but to turn the channel at breakneck speed) and the too-happy skinny woman sidekick clean mildew, mold, toilet crud, hubcaps, patio furniture, the gas grill, etc. Now I am pretty skeptical, after all, who knows what they might have sprinkled on these items to make them appear to clean so easily. I did a search and found a blog on RipOffReport.com of a person who was yelled at and told to shut up (!) when he/she called about a fraudulent credit card charge incurred by these people. That did it for me, having been a victim of credit card fraud and also not interested in being yelled at on the phone by some otherwise unemployable nasty and most likely underpaid and frustrated customer service rep, I changed my mind. I did, however, go and get my clothing steamer from the closet and tried that on some hard-to-keep-clean areas, like around the burners of my gas Jenn-Air in the kitchen and was pretty impressed with the results. I'll be dragging this item behind me pretty much all day sanitizing the kitchen, bathrooms, patio area and whatever else catches my eye as I pass it by. Today, I got ssssssteam heat --

Fast Food Filth

Well, as careful as I am, I stupidly fell victim to filthy food-intake in the form of fast food iced tea, and was so sick I actually had to leave work. I know it was this, as I had neither eaten nor drank anything else. I won't tell you outright which establishment I purchased this from, but you can probably guess from the McHint. I should have known as we pulled away and noted the cleanliness rating only a 95.5. Sketchy. I typically will not eat anyplace that has less than a 98 rating, but I was a passenger in the car of a co-worker's, and I was pretty thirsty. She got a Big Something-or-Other, fries and a coke, and was absolutely fine. The people at the windows spoke no English, and who knows how clean they are back in their native land? Hola Moses! Now I know -- and it's not so much. Stay away from anything they mix up in a big vat and put in who-knows-what and clean who-knows-when-or-if.

For me, no more drinks that are not in sealed bottles!

The Swiffer

What did we ever do before Proctor and Gamble came out with the Swiffer? The first time I saw anything like it was years ago when an old Cuban woman brought over what looked like a wooden mop: A broomstick with a wood "pad" at the bottom. I looked at it curiously and wondered how that was supposed to work on a hardwood floor, but as I was pondering, she was at the sink wetting a small white towel. She wrung it out and wrapped it around the wood pad, fastening it with a rubber band. Then she went to town on that floor, removing the towel periodically to rinse it out in the sink and then reapplied it to the wooden pad to mop another area. Well, I had never seen anything else like it until the Swiffer! I LOVE the Swiffer!

The swivel head is crazy -- it picks up everything from everywhere! I can maneuver it around furniture, under low items, and even behind the toilet!

So now I have dry Swiffers, wet Swiffers, scented Swiffers and unscented Swiffers. Easy to put on, easy to take off.

I know a woman must have invented these.

Shopping Cart Filth

Ok, so where do I start? I read articles about this and it is truly disgusting! Here is just one from ABC News -- http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/OnCall/story?id=2859060

Other people's dirty hands, germy hands, sick people's bacteria-laden hands, snotty-nosed kids sitting in the basket with snotty hands, outside grime from parking lots, fecal matter, I could go on all day. So what to do? Well, some of the grocery stores have taken to putting out sani-wipes for you to clean the handles. About half the times I go to the store, the containers are empty and people have dropped used wipes all around the little trashcan the employees have provided for disposal of these cloths. Not "green." So a solution would be to have your own cart cover to take from your purse or pocket, open it up and cover the filthy handle. www.cartapillar.com is an option. For $14.95 you get a pretty quilted little cover that is folded, washable, and fits the cart handle like a glove. Better than a glove, you still have bare hands with which to pick up your items!

Shower Crud

Ok, here's the scoopage on my shower. It's tiled, looked great when we bought the house, but I swear the first time we showered the grout started to turn sinisterly grey and grossly black. I bleached it, but it grew back (Silly me thought bleach killed mildew, when it really only BLEACHES it!). So I bought some of the smelly and highly-likely dangerously fumed chemical in a spray bottle from the grocery store. Although it cleaned the nasty growth, the stink from the spray was way in the back of my nose and throat and stayed there for about 2 hours. Can't be good, right? So -- back to the grocery store a few days later when the filth reappeared for a box of 20 Mule Team Borax, some generic white vinegar in a jug, and a skinny and stiff grout brush. I doused the grout with the vinegar and sprinkled the borax, then lightly scrubbed. Low and behold, the grey and the black uninvited guests were easily gone with nary an odor and get this -- STAYED gone for a week! I'm sold!

Vacuum Cleaner

I bought a new vacuum cleaner (to add to my collection of assorted machines in my quest for the best machine I could find at a reasonable cost) and for the first time in my life am actually excited about it! This beauty was a few dollars short of $600 before tax, has a funky purple lid on its collection tank, spews no exhaust, has such incredible suction power that it actually LIFTS the heavy oriental carpet in my living room as it sucks up even the fine powdery dirt that my other menagerie of cleaners have missed for years. I vacuum daily after I return home from work, never failing to be amazed at the amount of fine silt it picks up. Where does it all come from?? Never mind that -- this vacuum is amazing! The Scandinavian-looking guy on TV who invented it is my new personal hero. This Dyson Animal rocks!

Germ Snobs

Definition - Germ Snob: self-explanatory